My favorite girlfriend is getting married tomorrow (okay, later today). I thought I'd leave some hints for her, and anyone else who needs it. I love you, dear, and I wish you the fullness of experience as you go forth in this adventure. Much of this you probably already know, but I'll say it anyways. But be warned, I'm a soggy, sentimental old married lady.
Everything changes tomorrow. Yes, it's just a piece of paper, but it really does change everything. In some ways this is wonderful. In others, it makes life difficult. It's much harder to get out now, and that makes the fights more meaningful and more desperate. Keep this in mind and choose your words carefully.
Be gentle with his heart and he will return the favor. Don't ask why it has to be this way, because the answers are all rude. Let's just say it just seems to be how it works.
Take the time to snuggle every day. It will make you feel less trapped.
Making decisions about when to uproot and whether you can do that thing and so forth are no longer your decision (alone anyways). This sucks. There's simply no two ways about it. But now you have the chance to have someone along for all of your journeys. the limitations on 'pick up and go' may or may not be worth it, but this is its own adventure.
You will certainly not stop learning new things about each other 3 years in. I've heard tell that you never stop. This is good. Keeps things fresh.
Secrets are tricky. Sometimes they're poison. Sometimes it's the telling that kills. Use your discretion, be forgiving, and hope for the same.
Trust is unbelievably fragile and hard (but not impossible) to rebuild. Just don't risk it.
When money is tight, everything becomes a war. I hope you never face this, but remember to get help before you rip each other apart.
Self care matters more than anything. Marriage is a partnership, but you can't be a good partner if you're broken. Keep yourself healthy and keep yourself a priority. Sometimes it's the only thing that can help.
Everything is more beautiful when you have a chance to point it out to someone else. Treasure this gift of sharing the world.
Sex matters. Touching matters more.
When you're having nightmares or afraid of the dark or have narrowly avoided certain automotive doom, touch your rings and remember that there is an objective reality in which you are oved and safe. Works. Every. Time.
Do not wear your rings to the beach. I haven't lost mine, but plenty have. Bitches are expensive.
Yes, the direction of the toilet paper (or whatever stupid thing you're fighting abut) matters. Agree on a compromise before it becomes a nagging issue that sets you off about other more pressing problems. Small arguments wear down our willpower about being nice in bigger arguments and stress is poison.
Stress is poison. Cannot say this enough. Expend it. Find some outlet or one will emerge and you won't like it.
That one patch of really soft skin you love? The one at the corner of his hip or the back of his neck or between his collar bones? Wherever it is, touch it as much as you can. You only get one go at this. Get every second you can out of it.
Life is precious. He is even more precious. Remember what I said about being gentle with him.
Laugh together. Make up jokes. Mock others when they don't understand. (You've got this part covered.)
Learn together. It will keep your brains young and then you can enjoy and remember each other longer.
Take pictures of each other and together. You'll want them later.
Hold hands.
After all the stress, tomorrow is a wonderful day you will always remember. Even if everything goes horribly wrong, the memories will last. Enjoy yourself and let go of everything else. Look into his eyes. Linger. Drink him in. Everyone can wait.
Congratulations my dear. I wish you many happy years together.
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